Forgiveness always involves risk—the risk that the person we forgive may hurt us again in the same way. On the one hand, this risk must be accepted as part of forgiveness. Refusing to take the risk that arises from forgiveness shows that our forgiveness is conditional. Yet God teaches us to show unconditional love, first toward God and then toward our fellow human beings. One expression of such unconditional love is the courage to accept the risks that come with forgiving someone.
However, this way of thinking naturally raises questions about our own well-being. For example, if someone once deceived us and drained our finances, then comes to ask for forgiveness, must we forgive them and continue to entrust our money to them as before? Must we keep accepting the risk, even being willing to suffer repeated losses, only to forgive again?
The answer, of course, is no. On the one hand, the risk of forgiveness cannot be rejected. There is always the possibility that someone we have forgiven will hurt us again. A person who once deceived us may do so again, even after being forgiven. Yet accepting this risk does not mean surrendering ourselves to continually bearing it. The risk of forgiveness should be welcomed with one hand, while the other hand prepares wise anticipation.
We must not neglect our responsibility to steward God’s trust through money, assets, or other personal possessions entrusted to us for use in His service. This includes our hearts and minds, which must also be directed to work for His Kingdom. If someone continually suffers material or immaterial loss due to a lack of wisdom in dealing with deceitful people or those indifferent to others’ feelings, they may ultimately miss opportunities to serve God with the resources available to them.
Toward those who are deceitful and indifferent to others, we must act with wisdom without abandoning the principle of unconditional love. God’s Word says, “Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). This statement from Matthew guides us that a person can maintain a sincere heart in loving others while remaining alert. The two are not contradictory, as though anticipating possible losses—whether material or immaterial—means that one no longer loves or is being calculating.
To be innocent as doves and shrewd as snakes is the Christian’s willingness to live out unconditional love, ready to accept any risk, yet balanced with wisdom. Interestingly, Matthew uses the word “innocent, which is closely associated with the basic motives of the heart. In contrast, the Word shrewd relates more to how actions are considered and carried out in light of those motives. This gives us insight into the fundamental motive of our hearts toward those who have hurt us, which must not change. That fundamental motive must remain love.
However, how we express that love toward each person needs to be carefully considered and practiced with discernment. Returning to the example of someone who once deceived us financially, their sin must be forgiven, and our feelings toward them should be nurtured to remain loving, as they were before the incident occurred. Yet the way we show love to them is no longer by entrusting our money to them. If they need a loan, we may refuse and offer another, better solution. Refusing to lend cash does not mean our hearts still harbor hatred; rather, it is an effort to safeguard God’s trust from irresponsible people.
This is the meaning of being innocent as doves and shrewd as snakes. Admittedly, in certain situations, circumstances can be far more complex than the example above. Therefore, we need the guidance of the Holy Spirit to grant wisdom on how to express love toward those who have hurt us without losing these two essential aspects: sincerity and discernment.