Another form of gratitude we need to be cautious of is gratitude that arises from comparison—comparing our life circumstances with those of others.
One day, while navigating through heavy traffic in Jakarta, my four-year-old daughter and I passed through a densely populated neighborhood. She looked innocently out the car window, observing her surroundings. As we drove by a particular spot, she said to her father, “Papa, look, that person’s house is small. We should be thankful that our house is big.”
Indeed, the house she referred to was tiny. It belonged to a tailor who used it both as a workspace and a place to rest. The bathroom was only a few steps away from the sewing machine. There was no television or open space—just one cramped room filled with fabrics and clothing patterns. What my daughter said wasn’t entirely wrong; she was repeating what she had recently learned about gratitude at school.
In our society, gratitude is often taught through comparison. By observing those who are worse off or less fortunate than we are, we are taught to be thankful for what God has given us. At the very least, we are told to be grateful that we are not in their situation—that our condition is better and more blessed by God. Therefore, we feel justified in expressing our gratitude, which is not entirely wrong. Having a better situation than others is the result of our hard work and effort, and that is worth being thankful for. However, if such comparison becomes the primary foundation of our gratitude, then perhaps we are not truly being grateful—we are, in fact, being thankful for someone else’s misfortune.
A similar example can be found in the Bible, in the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector praying in the temple (Luke 18:9-14). The Pharisee prayed, “God, I thank You that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.” But what did Jesus say? “I tell you that this man (the tax collector), rather than the other (the Pharisee), went home justified before God.”
Not every expression of gratitude is mature or pleasing to God. Gratitude that stems from self-exaltation or insensitivity toward the suffering of others is an offense to God. The Pharisee was thankful for his supposedly superior condition. Still, he forgot that the presence of the tax collector beside him was an opportunity to discover God’s will by embracing him. Instead, he used the tax collector as a point of comparison to glorify himself before God, under the guise of giving thanks. God is displeased by gratitude that arises from self-comparison, especially when it comes at the expense of the weak and oppressed.
Mature gratitude comes from the awareness that our current circumstances are exactly as God has allowed them to be. They may not be as ideal as we wish, but they are never without God’s blessings in other forms. Do not be thankful simply because your situation is better than someone else’s. Never compare your blessings with those of another person. Be grateful for whatever your problem is today. As long as we can still say “today,” there is always a reason to see what is good in our lives.
Remember, we are the apple of God’s eye. We are precious to Him—not because we are strong, powerful, wealthy, or famous, but simply because we are who we are today. If we are the apple of His eye, with whom else do we need to compare ourselves?