The Bible provides a firm command to every believer regarding love and forgiveness. As stated in Ephesians 4:31–32: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This command emphasizes that the life of a believer cannot be separated from the calling to love and forgive, even amid painful life experiences.
In the journey of life, almost everyone has experienced a wound—being hurt, betrayed, abandoned, or belittled. These wounds do not end with the past event; they leave long emotional footprints. There are recurring memories, lingering traumas, and words that are difficult to forget. Unknowingly, humans continue living while carrying that pain. Often, a person thinks they are fine, but when a particular name is mentioned, or a similar situation recurs, the old cracks in the heart reopen.
In the context of the verse from Ephesians, the bitterness that must be discarded is not merely physically distancing oneself from the person who caused the hurt, but discarding the hatred itself. Hatred not only damages relationships with others; it also erodes the soul of the one who harbors it. Hatred can be likened to drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. God never designed humans to live by “chewing” on bitterness, but to dwell in love and restoration.
Imagine if the person who caused the wound was a parent, a spouse, or one’s own child. In many cases, it is difficult to hate them entirely. The question then arises: why are humans so stubborn in maintaining anger toward others who are also created in the image of God? Wounds drive humans to defend themselves, but love invites humans to view others from God’s perspective—that everyone is in the same process: falling and rising, failing and learning, hurting and growing.
Humans often mourn the events that bring them down and ask, “Why was I hurt? Why me?” However, the reflection of faith brings us to a spiritual paradox: God allows tears not to grow hatred, but to shape the human soul. Tears dissolve pride, erode the ego, and open a space for God’s grace to work. God does not demand that humans pretend to be strong; instead, He invites humans to rise without making their wounds their identity.
The urge to retaliate or demand justice often arises when a wound is still fresh. There is a desire to say that the other person deserves punishment. Yet, in those moments, the Holy Spirit reminds us that if justice were applied in its entirety, we too would deserve punishment for our own mistakes. The realization that God’s forgiveness far outweighs others’ faults becomes the turning point, softening the heart.
Life is not an arena for determining who is the most “right” or the most hurt. Life is a space for restoration where God teaches humans to forgive because they themselves have been forgiven. Salvation and intimacy with God are far more valuable than a bruised reputation or material loss. Many lose their peace for the sake of maintaining a position, pride, or self-justification, even though their relationship with God matters most.
True forgiveness does not depend on external factors, but on an internal decision to no longer let the wound control one’s life. Forgiveness breaks the power of trauma, stops the chain of resentment, and restores the dignity of the soul. The person who forgives is not the loser, but the one who has triumphed over themselves.
In the silence of life, there may be a name or an event that resurfaces in memory—a certain face, an old incident, or words that once pierced the heart. God’s invitation is not to run away from that memory, but to bring it before Him. When the wound is surrendered to God, His love touches the deepest parts that have been closely guarded, allowing one to pray honestly for inner freedom.
Ultimately, true joy is not born from successfully proving oneself right, but from a life lived close to God and surrendered to His control. With strength that comes from Christ, believers are enabled to say to those who once hurt them, “I forgive, because Christ first forgave me.”