In truth, the matter of losing one’s life or surrendering one’s life is the very teaching of the Lord Jesus Himself. Life—or soul—refers to pleasure, enjoyment, and happiness. For most people, the sources of pleasure, joy, and happiness come from three main things. First, family—this cannot be denied. Second, the beauty of the world: material possessions, praise, titles, rank, and position. And third, comfort. These are what make people feel that their lives are complete and whole.
Matthew 10:34-39 emphasizes:
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a son against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. Anyone who loves their father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for My sake will find it.”
Frankly, it is difficult to explain this truth to many people, because human ways of thinking, concepts, assumptions, and perspectives are already far removed from the pure Gospel. To the eyes of the world, this teaching seems strange and unreasonable. Yet this is the truth. Family is soul, pleasure, and happiness. No wonder an unmarried person feels incomplete. Married but childless—still incomplete. Having children but not yet successful—still incomplete. When children are successful, it feels incomplete without a son or daughter-in-law. Once there are in-laws, it still feels incomplete without grandchildren, and so on. Such is humanity’s pursuit of completeness through family.
But what the Lord teaches is contrary to human instinct. If we continue to love our lives, preserve them, and refuse to lose them for Christ, we will actually lose that life itself. Losing life—in this context, family—does not mean that we may or must neglect our family. Instead, we must not let family become the reason for ignoring our salvation, the salvation of our family, and even the salvation of many others in eternity.
Many people pursue family happiness so recklessly that they neglect their responsibility before God. In the early church era, a father might be willing to go to prison or even die for his faith. But when he saw his wife and children persecuted, he could be tempted to deny Jesus, and this is an extreme example. We may not face such circumstances today, but the essence is the same. Many today are busy providing houses, cars, education, and abundant wealth for their children, while neglecting God’s work and the fate of others.
Indeed, God instituted marriage, and from marriage came the family. But marriage and family today are no longer as God originally intended. Humanity has “fallen short” (Greek: hystereo) of the glory of God. People have not yet reached the state of truly bearing the image and likeness of God. Even Adam and Eve had not fully attained it, for their character had not yet matured into God’s image and likeness. Had humanity not fallen into sin, we would have become perfect, loving one another and becoming one great family of God’s people.
But our world today is broken. Humanity is divided by ethnicity, religion, race, social class, economics, and many other barriers. Is this the kind of world God intended? Certainly not. That is why the Lord Jesus teaches us to be willing to lose our lives to gain true salvation.